IMPORTANT NOTE: Take a Bite Cafe will continue here until 18th October when it will transfer to my new site.

Broad Faker, Book 4 in the Book of Lot series, is now available on Wattpad and my new site.

WARNING: Sexy stuff

Megan and Jimmy make new discoveries about each other

‘It smells amazing in here,’ Jimmy said when he came in Sunday night looking tired.

‘I’m baking.’ I stopped flicking through the recipes on my tablet. ‘I had a bit of an accident, I cleaned up but might’ve ruined the kosherness of your kitchen. Sorry.’

He came over and leaned against the counter beside me. ‘Are you alright?’ He caressed my flour dusted face.      

I looked down at my bruised legs dangling off my stool with a dusting of flour below me. ‘I think the bruises are hiding the bruises.’

He tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. ‘Seriously, are you alright?’

‘I’m fine, I just…’ I made claws with my hands. ‘Urgh! I can’t be doing with all this resting.’

He smiled and lifted me off the stool onto the worktop. ‘It doesn’t look like you’ve been resting to me.’

‘Thank you for putting my arse right in the flour.’ I wiped his face with my floury hand. ‘Ooops.’

He tried to brush it away and missed, but I wasn’t going to tell him.

‘And I need confess,’ he whispered. ‘I haven’t kept a kosher home since I went to university I just tell Mama I do and I was too embarrassed to tell you I was lying because I don’t want to get told off by my Mum.’ He took a breath.

I shoved his shoulder. ‘You never told me you went to university.’

He frowned. ‘You’re upset about that?’

I grinned. ‘Not really, but a fib for a fib, right?’

He exhaled and relaxed. ‘You’re not angry then?’

‘I shall be your silent ally.’ I locked my lips. ‘Seriously though, what’s your degree in?’

‘I don’t have one, I dropped out to work in the café,’ he said. ‘I was meant to be an accountant, my parents were very disappointed.’

I considered his old, comfy jumper, faded jeans, and battered trainers. ‘I can’t see you as an accountant.’

‘Me neither.’ He kissed me softly. ‘Maybe you could see me as one… A suit, a tie, a briefcase full of goodies, here to a kinky audit.’

I rested my hands on his waist. ‘Kinky accountant actually sounds really hot.’

He looked at me solemnly. ‘Instead of pens in his top pocket Kinky Accountant has bullet vibrators.’

I snorted and laughed.

‘Feeling better?’ he asked.


‘I know you. Sunday is the busiest day, you’ve been feeling guilty all day about Mattie and me working while you’re sitting up here.’

I tilted my head, I couldn’t deny it. ‘I could’ve sat at the counter taking orders.’

He just looked at me.

‘I would’ve stayed there, I promise.’ I gave him innocent eyes.

‘Uh-huh.’ He put his arms around my waist. ‘So, you absolutely wouldn’t have been trying to carry things while using your crutches and falling over?’ He caressed my bare thigh, his hand came away floury and he held it up to me. ‘You’d definitely rest?’

I eyed the flour on his hand like it was a traitor.

‘What would’ve happened if you were trying to carry hot drinks or plates?’

I pouted, not one of my natural expressions.

‘Don’t do that,’ he said.

‘Oh dear, does it make you heart all soft and squidgy?’ I asked.

He cleared his throat, rubbed his lips and mumbled something to the cooling tray of cakes.

I cupped my hand behind my ear. ‘What was that, babe?’

‘You make that face when you’re teasing me too, you know… And it…’ He cleared his throat again. ‘It’s association, alright. I’m not getting off on you looking all… cute.’

I wrapped my arms around Jimmy’s neck. ‘Aww, babe’s got a boner.’

He shifted his shoulders, cleared his throat a third time, and couldn’t meet my gaze. ‘Only half of one.’ He grabbed a muffin. ‘I should really try some cake.’

I chuckled, there was something ridiculously sweet that one minute he could be making jokes about kinky accountant then the next embarrassed about flying at half-mast. ‘You should.’

He looked at me. ‘That’s not part of the BDSM handbook I haven’t got to yet, is it?’

‘Not the one I’m playing from.’ I kissed his jaw. ‘Eat some cake and stop thinking about stiffies and briefcases full of goodies.’

‘I wasn’t thinking, it was –‘

I shoved the cake against his mouth. ‘Eat it.’

He stared at me. ‘You’re sure that’s not a sex thing?’

‘Only in your dirty mind.’ I kissed him. ‘Or is it?’

He gave me a ‘what you like?’ sigh and took a bite. ‘That’s really good,’ he said around a mouthful of muffin.

I smiled. ‘You look surprised.’

He swallowed. ‘Be fair, this morning as far as I knew my girlfriend couldn’t fry an egg, now you’re a baker and know how to keep a kitchen kosher, injury related accidents aside.’

I tore a piece off the muffin in his hand. ‘It’s not just your arse I watch in that kitchen.’

He licked his lips. ‘I’m disappointed.’

I laughed and popped the piece of muffin in my mouth.

‘Maybe we should sell them in the café,’ he said. ‘Tasty vegan cakes could be our bestsellers.’

I put some muffin in his mouth. ‘Maybe it would finally impress your mother if she starts thinking I have some feminine virtues hidden somewhere.’

He wound my rogue strand of hair around his fingertips. ‘She loves you already.’

‘Your mum thinks I’m a good waitress, that’s not the same as thinking I’m a good girlfriend,’ I said. ‘What are you smiling about?’

He shrugged. ‘It sounds a lot like commitment.’

‘Hmmm…’ I ran my hands down his back to his rear. ‘Maybe.’

‘What can I do to make your mum like me?’ he asked. ‘Win the lottery?’

‘I don’t know that she dislikes you.’ I linked my fingers against his arse. ‘But she might be listening to the gossip and think you’re corrupting me away from the path of true social climbing.’ I tugged his lip with my teeth.

He closed his eyes and took a shuddery breath.

I smiled. ‘Oh, if only she knew the truth.’

He chuckled, low. ‘Such sweet corruption.’

‘I’m so sore you might have to wait for your corruption,’ I whispered. ‘A long, long. long time.’

‘Sounding dangerously like commitment again.’ He rested his forehead against mine.

I played my fingertips over his chest. ‘I don’t mean to tug away sometimes, it’s just…’

He traced my jaw. ‘I know. I told you, you’re worth waiting for.’

I kissed his palm. ‘You shouldn’t have to wait.’

‘You shouldn’t have been hurt the way you were.’ He was so close his breath warmed my lips. He touched his hand to my heart. ‘You can’t force a wound to heal faster, poke it too much and it’ll fester.’

I nuzzled his cheek then slapped his rear. ‘Maybe I was mostly watching that arse of yours.’


I drew away and shook my head. ‘Maybe we should tidy the kitchen first.’

‘Or we could eat all the muffins for dinner.’ He kissed my cheek. ‘Then I can eat you.’

‘Horny fucker.’

‘We’ve both had a hard day.’ He kissed my neck. ‘I could skip straight to eating you.’

I rolled my eyes. ‘Rinse your mouth out, it’s a delicate ecosystem down there.’

He went to the sink and filled a glass with water.

‘I thought you were joking,’ I said.

‘I never joke about eating pussy.’ He took a swig of water and swirled it around his mouth.

‘You’re just building expectations.’

He spat the water out in the sink and wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. ‘I have aspirations. They’re not shopping at John Lewis aspirations but they’re mine.’

I tossed a pinch of flour at him and it turned into a dusty cloud between us.

‘Don’t throw flour in my kitchen.’ He grabbed a handful from the paper bag and threw it at me.

It sprayed across my chest and turned my black band shirt grey.

‘Cheat.’ I flicked more flour at him. ‘I can’t get down from here to reach.’

He rested his hands on either side of my legs. ‘Oh no, you’re trapped.’

I put my hands over his. ‘This is a lot of sexy talk for a man whose sexy talk amounted to “that’s the stuff” a few months ago.’

He kissed my neck. ‘You love it when I say that.’

I caught his face between my hands. ‘Maybe.’ I kissed the tip of his nose. ‘A little.’

‘More than a little.’

I shrugged. ‘Maybe.’

He touched my thighs, a gentle press of fingertips. ‘Bet I can make you say yes.’

I stroked his face with my thumb. ‘Mmmm, brain would like that, legs would not.’

He stooped and kissed my thigh just above my uninjured knee. ‘Poor legs.’

I ran my fingers through his hair. ‘Fancy a wank?’

He straighten. ‘Alright then.’ His belt rattled as he unbuckled it, I loved that sound.

I put my hands over his before he popped his top button. ‘One condition, you let me sit in the café tomorrow.’

‘Hard bargain.’

‘I noticed.’ I flicked his crotch and he hissed.

He smiled, kissed the corner of my mouth, and whispered, ‘Do the thumb thing and I’ll consider it.’

I gave him a quick kiss on the lips. ‘Deal.’

He touched his face to the side of mine. ‘That’s the stuff.’

I did love it.

Feature image by Bruna Branco on Unsplash

For more episodes of Take a Bite Cafe click here.

Published by Jesse

I'm a writer and academic specialising in fantasy fiction and creative writing theory. I'm allergic to pretentiously talking about fiction and aim to be unashamedly ‘commercial’. Surely all fiction is commercial anyway, or what’s the point in publishing it?

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