WARNING: Some sexual content

It’s the cafe’s biggest business day and Nan has a suggestion.


I was brushing my teeth when Jimmy’s reflection appeared in the bathroom mirror. I didn’t think a relationship lost any mystique if he saw me cleaning my teeth so I’d left the door open. I bent forward and spat the toothpaste out and wiped my mouth.

‘I don’t think I’ve ever known you spit anything out before,’ Jimmy said, leaning against the doorframe.

I turned round, leant against the sink, and brandished my toothbrush at him. ‘A dirty mouth like that will get you in trouble.’

‘I hope so.’

I put the head of my toothbrush in my mouth and wiggled my eyebrows at him and he laughed.

‘Someone’s feeling perky this morning,’ I said.

He stepped closed and put his arms around me. ‘Things feel brighter.’

‘Good.’

He lifted me up onto the counter next to the sink and kissed me. ‘I was wondering what you’d think if I shaved my hair off.’

His hairline had retreated quite a way and his parting was separating like the Red Sea but what was left was thick, lustrous black. I’d never seen him with a shaved head.

I played my fingers through his hair. ‘I like you hair and I like kissing this bit just…’ I tilted his head down and kissed the point of the V his hair had formed. ‘Here.’

‘I like kissing here.’ He took the opportunity to nuzzle his face into my boobs.

I laughed and drew his face level with mine. ‘You’re beautiful, Jimmy. You’ll be beautiful however you have your hair.’

‘Or don’t have it.’

I kissed him softly. ‘You’re getting it.’

He glanced down and arched his eyebrows at me. ‘Am I?’

‘What do we say?’ I asked.

He kissed the tips of my fingers and nipped my forefinger. ‘Please, Sir, I can I have some pussy?’

I dug my fingers into his hair and urged his head down. He got on his knees, grinning. I dropped my toothbrush but it didn’t seem to matter. I could get used to it.

***

Sundays were bacon free days. We got a lot of elderly patrons so Sunday was roast day. It was also our biggest profit day, but anyone who’d eaten Jimmy’s roast potatoes wouldn’t be surprised. In my head it sounded like a euphemism so I frowned at the coffee machine like it had offended me.

The café was so full on Sundays Jimmy’s niece, Mattie, worked as a second waitress and one day a week I got to pretend I was a high and mighty manager of one. I was never sure about it, overhearing salacious comments about your uncle from old ladies had to be worse than it was for me to hear their comments. Mattie was very good at ignoring them, I suspected she was wearing wireless ear buds when she wasn’t taking orders. That, or she had a very loud internal music player that made her bop as she cleaned tables.

As I frothed milk I caught sight of Jimmy bending over. I tilted slightly. Those jeans fit him very nicely.

‘Careful,’ Vincent said. ‘You’ll fall over.’

I bounced straight and cleared my throat. ‘Thought there was a loose wire. There wasn’t.’ I poured the milk into the cup and made a smiley face in it.

‘You’ve been listening to the old biddies.’

I turned and put his drinks on the counter. ‘Mattie and I are the youngest people in here.’

He sighed. ‘Well played.’ He gave me the money for the coffees and dropped the change in the tip jar.

‘Thank you.’

He went back to his chess game in the corner and frowned at the board as if the pieces weren’t where he expected. I hadn’t seen Devon move them but I’d been distracted. I didn’t feel sexual attraction very often, I was entitled to enjoy it when I did. I needed an emotional connection before I started thinking people looked tasty. Demisexual, I liked the name, it made me think of demigods which sounded cool.

I knew what I felt for Jimmy, he looked incredibly fucking tasty.

‘Where were you last night, young lady?’

I jumped, suddenly aware I was peering into the kitchen while rubbing the milk frother with a cloth. I stopped and cleared my throat. ‘Around.’ I got out a teapot. ‘Usual?’

‘Please.’

I put the pot in the hot water machine and pressed the button.

She propped her chin on her fist. ‘Didn’t have anything to do with that delicious climbing instructor, would it? Now there’s a peak I’d like to mount.’

Somehow boiling water splashed my hand and I swallowed a curse. She knew, she had to know.

‘Are you alright, dear?’ she asked, all innocence.

‘I’m fine.’ I turned the tap at the small sink to cold and ran it over my scald. ‘And thanks for the mental image, Nan.’

‘Your life could be romance novel, full of attractive men bending to kiss your boots.’ She sighed.

My gaze caught Jimmy’s back and I smiled. Well, it wasn’t my boots he liked to kiss. ‘Maybe you read too many of those.’ I dried my hand with a paper towel and put the teapot on a tray with a cup.

‘Don’t be getting all sniffy, girly. I’ve learnt many things from the romance novels. In fact, I have a mind to start a book club. We’ll sit in the corner and drink tea and talk about sexy people. I’ll put a poster in the window.’

‘Generally, I think you’re meant to ask before you put posters in the window.’

‘I just asked,’ she said. ‘You’re going to have to design it for me I’m not very good at the computer.’

That was interesting, she was perfectly good at using a computer when she wanted to order books.

She stepped back and mimed a sign. ‘Rachel’s Erotic Romance Book Club.’

‘Maybe leave off the “erotic” bit,’ I said, examining the burning red mark on my hand. ‘Random people walk passed that window.’

‘Sex is perfectly natural, people shouldn’t be offended by it.’

‘That’s all good and well if you’re not the one on the counter they’ll complain to.’

She rolled her eyes. ‘Fine. The Romance Book Club.’

‘That’ll do.’

She made a vague gesture at the Sunday board. ‘I’ll have the chicken.’ She picked up her tray then turned back. ‘Oh, can you put that on the tinterweb?’

‘Pretty sure I can manage that.’

‘Sorted.’ She walked over to her table to wait for Sally and the rest of her friends.

I suppose I couldn’t complain about something that might bring more people to the café, although I wasn’t sure I wanted to listen to my nan talk about sexy people. I glanced at Mattie still bopping her way through clearing tables. Maybe I needed to invest in some earbuds.


Feature image by Fabian Blank on Unsplash

For more episodes of Take a Bite Cafe click here.

Published by Jesse

I'm a writer and academic specialising in fantasy fiction and creative writing theory. I'm allergic to pretentiously talking about fiction and aim to be unashamedly ‘commercial’. Surely all fiction is commercial anyway, or what’s the point in publishing it?

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